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1. There
was a church that had problems with outsiders
parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH
CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY,
TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!
That
took care of the problem!
2. "No God - No Peace? Know God - Know
Peace."
3. "Free
Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try
our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
5.
"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad
for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the
Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads:
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When
the restaurant next to another Church put out a sign with big red letters that
said,
"Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on
Sundays, too."
8.
"People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know
how strong they are."
9.
"Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
10. "How
will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"
11.
"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
12.
"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is
low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
13. "It
is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do
not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
15. "If
you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
16. "If
you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
17.
"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire
insurance soon."
18.
"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ----- (U R)
19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
20.
"Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
21. "If
you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
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