UGLY
Everyone in
the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the
resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world:
fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love.
The combination of these
things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on
Ugly.
To start with, he had only
one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole.
He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot
appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed
at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always
turning the corner.
His tail has long since been
lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly
jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby
striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even
his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone
saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one ugly cat!"
All the children were warned
not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down,
squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his
paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the
same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand
there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw
things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in
forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running
meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands,
begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would
immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he
could find.
One day Ugly shared his love
with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and
Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his
screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to
where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost
at an end.
Ugly lay in a wet circle, his
back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping
tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I
picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him
wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be
hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging,
sucking sensation on my ear- Ugly, in so much pain, suffering
and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him
closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head,
then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear
the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that
ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection,
perhaps some compassion.
At that moment I thought Ugly
was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never
once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away
from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me
completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.
Ugly died in my arms before I
could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time
afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little
stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true
pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me
more about giving and compassion than a thousand books,
lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will
always be thankful.
He had been scarred on the
outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me
to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total
to those I cared for.
Many people want to be
richer, more successful, well liked, or beautiful, but for me, I
will always try to be "Ugly".
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